


Nugget

by Xeue



Category: South Park
Genre: Short Chapters, WIP, chicken nuggets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-12 05:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20994854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xeue/pseuds/Xeue
Summary: Kenny... erm... gets a job, I suppose. He sells chicken nuggets!





	1. Chapter 1

Part One: Craig Refuses

“Heh, he- heh, h-hey Craig,” Kenny giggled.  
Craig sighed, faced Kenny, and closed his eyes.  
“What.”   
“Want a chicken nugget?”  
Craig opened his eyes in slight surprise, then closed them to slits and eyed the nugget Kenny held in his gloved hand.  
“I don’t want a chicken nugget, no.”  
“‘Kay,” Kenny said a little too cheerfully.  
“Wait, why are you wearing a backpack?” Craig noted as Kenny turned to bother Jimmy instead.  
“To make all the ladies and gentlemen to fall at my feet in sheer admiration because of my shocking good looks and amazing fashion sense.” Kenny feigned flipping non-existent long hair, facing back towards the other before moving to offer Jimmy the same nugget he had refused.


	2. Part Two: Jimmy Lights Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy does not refuse,, he babye

“Jimmy. Jimmy. Jimmy.”  
“Y-y-y-yuh-y-y-yes?” Jimmy smiled up at the taller Kenny, flashing his pink-and-yellow braces for a split second.  
“D-“ Kenny paused to laugh- “Do you want a chicken nugget?”  
“H-hell yeah, chicken nuggets.”  
“There’s a price though.”  
“Ye-yeah? Wh-wh-wha-what is it?”  
“A sticker.”  
“Oh! YEAH,” Jimmy shouted. Nobody ever asked for his stickers. They were his pride and joy, and Kenny was his friend, so of course he’d share one!  
Jimmy dropped one crutch, weaving his arm out of the strangely complex metal piece.  
He rummaged in his left pocket, pulling out a Hello Kitty sticker.  
“W-will this do?”  
“Of course! I graciously accept your gift.”  
Jimmy smiled wider than before, his braces very visible.  
“Bye Kenny! Hope your sales go well!”


	3. Part Three: Clyde Makes A Purchase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clyde makes a decision, a good one ngl

“Kenny!” Clyde smiled, running up to the parka boy. “Can I buy a chicken nugget?”  
“Yeah! How’re you gonna pay me though?”  
“Uhh...” Clyde crossed his eyes for a moment. “A FLOWER.”  
“FUCK YEAH,” Kenny held his arms closer to himself in childish excitement.  
Clyde uncrossed his eyes and sprinted over to grab a dandelion from a nearby patch of grass. The small yellow flower seemed even smaller in Clyde’s hand, but Kenny didn’t mind.   
“Is this acceptable?” Clyde asked eagerly.  
“Yes, gimme.”  
Kenny tossed a chicken nugget to Clyde who caught it with little difficulty.  
“NGOM NGOM BITCH THIS IS THE BEST GODDAMN NUGGET I’VE HAD IN MY LIFE,” Clyde yelled, tossing it into his mouth.  
“THANKS MAN I’M BOUTTA HEAD OUT THOUGH,”   
“BYE KEN HAVE A GOOD TIME WITH, UH, THAT.”  
“LATER FUCKER,”


	4. Part Four: Stan Fucking Dies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan is afraid. Very, very afraid.

“Stan.” Kenny popped up and stared at the boy.  
“WHAT THE F-“ Stan fell out of his chair.  
“I got a deal for you.” Kenny said seriously.  
Stan sighed, still on the floor. “What?”  
“Chicken nugget.” Kenny deadpanned.  
“Chicken nugget?”  
“Chicken nugget.” Kenny reiterated.  
“Yeah, fuck it. Gimme a nugget.” Stan sighed.  
“FOR A PRICE,” Kenny stated ominously.  
“What is it, you absolute c u n t?” Stan was still on the floor, because he’s lazy and also. Kenny is cunt.  
“It’s. Uh. Fucking. Uhh. Can I get uhhhh-“  
“WHAT DO YOU FUCKING WANT YOU DUMBASS. GIMME A NUGGET.”  
“𝖈𝖆𝖓 𝖎 𝖌𝖊𝖙 𝖘𝖔𝖒𝖊 𝖌𝖚𝖒, 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍?”   
“CHRIST ALMIGHTY WHAT THE FUCK TAKE MY GUM I NEVER WANT TO HEAR THAT AGAIN,”  
Kenny threw a nugget at the boy still on the floor and stole the full pack of gum off Stan’s desk.  
“Later loser,” he tossed over his shoulder.


	5. Part Five: Cocaine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh,, oh no,,  
cocaine is not good for little crippled 10yearolds,,

“TIMMY DO YOU WANT A CHICKEN NUGGET OF COURSE YOU DO WHAT KIND YOU YOU WANT!” Kenny yelled, kicking down the boy’s bedroom door.  
“TIMMAH TIMMAH,” Timmy yelled in fear.  
“WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE YOUNG MAN,” Kenny yelled back.  
“Timmy.” Timmy apologized.  
“Okay, now that we’re past that, I will offer you a trade.”  
“Timmah?” Timmy questioned, rightfully. Kenny is a suspicious child.  
“Well I’ll give you a chicken nugget if you photoshop Jimmy’s legs into noodles.”  
“Timmah.” Timmy said in satisfaction, rolling his chair to the computer nearby. Photoshop was already open to Jimmy’s photo, which was also suspicious.  
Timmy made quick work of the photo, stretching linguini stock photos to fit his legs.  
“Timmah,” Timmy concluded, printing out the paper.  
“Fuck yeah,” Kenny said, distracted, and pulled a random nugget from his backpack. He tossed it to Timmy and walked away with the Jimmy photoshop in his hands.  
Neither of them realized it was a cocaine nugget.


	6. Part Six: Butters is a Good Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Butters is a Good Boy

“Leo, my son. Want a food?” Kenny slid his arm over Butters’ shoulders, a chicken nugget held temptingly in his other hand.  
“Sure, Kennie!”  
“There’s a price,” Kenny said lowly.  
“O-oh, what is it, Kennie?”  
“25 cents,” he said, like this was obvious.  
“Oh! O-okay!” Butters stuck his hand deep in his fannypack. His hand emerged in a moment, with a handful of coins.  
Kenny silently wondered why he had never seen the fannypack, and why it didn’t jingle with all those coins.  
Butters carefully counted out 25 pennies, and dumped them into Kenny’s hands, removed from his shoulders.  
“There!” Butters fucking beamed, an innocent baby.  
Kenny smiled gently and tossed Butters two chicken nuggets.  
“Free of charge.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> credit to @egg_is_meat for Kennie lmao


	7. Part Seven: Timmy is on Cocaine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle and Kenny panic, not realizing who has the cocaine nugget.

“Kenny.” Kyle said slowly. “You’re telling me you had a cocaine nugget, and it’s gone?”  
Kenny nodded quickly. “Yeah.”  
“Why. Why were you carrying around a cocaine-infused chicken nugget, and who would steal it? It’s a fucking nugget.”  
Kenny stayed silent.  
“C-cocaine?” Kenny raised hesitantly.  
“NO,” Kyle’s expression widened with emotion. “Okay, give me a rundown of who you gave nuggets to.”  
“Uh, Jimmy, Clyde, Stan, and... oh! Yeah, Timmy.”  
“You- You possibly drugged- Jimmy and Timmy?”  
“So no love for Clyde or Stan?” Kenny crossed his arms grumpily.  
“No, I still care, but they’ll survive.” Kyle shot back. “When’d you even notice it was gone?”  
“OH SHIT I GAVE BUTTERS A NUGGET,” Kenny realized, suddenly pacing.  
“OH SHIT,” Kyle also began to panic, Butters was the son, a small pure boy.  
“BUTTERS CANNOT GET DRUGGED. I’LL CONFISCATE ALL THE NUGGETS- WAIT SHIT CLYDE ATE HIS AND I DON’T KNOW IF ANYONE ELSE DID ALREADY-“ Kenny panicked even more.  
But just then, Timmy rolled up.  
“HeYyy fUckErs,” Timmy slurred, sounding like an adult man who has been smoking for 20 years.  
Kenny and Kyle just gaped.  
“Well,” Kyle said, “Guess we know who’s on cocaine.”


End file.
